Uncategorized

Can an Abusive Relationship Ever Change?

At least one in four women will be abused by a current or former partner at some point in her life. It’s a statistic we are familiar with, but often ignore. We think abuse is something that happens to someone else, when in fact, it happens to women we know. And, it can happen to us.

Abuse is more than just physical violence, though it often escalates to that point. A partner who is abusive will use many tactics to maintain control over their partner.

If you are in a toxic, abusive relationship, you may recognize some of these behaviors.

He may tell you who you are allowed to speak to. He may disrespect you, call you names, and put you down. Or he may manipulate you by being caring and loving one day, and cold and distant the next. He may cheat on you repeatedly and then blame you for his actions.

Or, he may constantly accuse you of cheating. And he will likely isolate you from friends and family, so you are left believing that he is all you have. But, he will probably also be very charming, considerate, and romantic – which will probably leave you feeling confused.

If you are being disrespected, manipulated, controlled, or hurt in your relationship, you are definitely not alone – many women end up in abusive relationships. If you are starting to realize that your relationship is not as healthy as it should be, you may be wondering whether you should leave. And if you have reached out to anyone for help or advice, they may have told you to leave, or that it’s your obligation to stay and try to fix it.

5 Signs You Are Dating Someone Toxic

If you are reading this, you’ve probably already suspected that your relationship may have some issues. You may have spotted red flags and started to wonder whether your partner is right for you. It can be hard to realize, and to admit, that someone we are dating is not the right person for us – and especially that they’re toxic – after we’ve invested time and love into the relationship. But, being able to recognize unhealthy and toxic behavior can help you make a more informed decision about what is best for you moving forward.

Here are five signs that the person you are dating is toxic:

1. When you argue, they try to win, not solve the situation. And not only do they try to win, they will blame you and try to tear you down. They may make you feel badly about bringing up a situation at all. And they may bring up issues from your past, or things that happened previously in the relationship, to attack you and make the argument all your fault. Their goal is not to move past the conflict and make your relationship stronger, it is to win, to tear you down, and to make themselves more powerful.

The Relationship Behavior that You May Not Realize is Toxic

Does this scenario sound familiar?

It has been a long day at work and you haven’t had a chance to even glance at your phone. When you finally have a second to sit at your desk, you glance down and notice several notifications. Your husband or boyfriend has called you several times and sent numerous texts. You immediately worry that something is wrong, or that he will be upset that you haven’t responded.

Instead of taking a moment to relax, you call him, ready to explain and justify your absence. He answers with a clearly annoyed tone, keeps his responses short, and says he obviously is not a priority to you.

After ending the call, you go back to work, but are distracted for the rest of the day, worried about how he will react when you get home.

You are worried about the tension and the argument that will likely ensue. And you feel guilty for not responding to his calls sooner. You make up an excuse for why you need to leave early, and rush home to try to smooth things over with him before he gets more upset.

But, as with previous incidents, no matter what you say, he feels that you have mistreated or disrespected him. He is either aggressive or backs away completely. And you are left trying to figure out how to apologize and fix the situation. The next day, you carry your phone with you throughout the work day, to make sure you do not miss any of his calls.

This pattern of behavior may not seem overtly abusive. In fact, it’s incredibly common.

How Rape Prevention Tips Let Rapists Go Free

Scrolling through my Facebook news feed, I stumble upon an ad for yet another self-defense weapon, promising to help “keep women safe.” And I immediately feel sick to my stomach. Once again, women are being told that it’s our responsibility to prevent rape, even though we are rarely the ones committing it. And, while rape culture would like us to believe otherwise, we are not the ones who can prevent it.

These so-called “prevention” messages are thrown at women all the time. Before delving into why these tips and tools are incredibly harmful, let’s first admit that they just do not work. Think about it: If all women learn these messages from an early age (and we all do), yet half of all women are still being sexually assaulted – clearly something isn’t working, right?

And the reason these messages aren’t working is because they are aimed at the wrong people. Imagine a drunk driving campaign that aims to teach you how to prevent being killed by a drunk driver. Sounds ludicrous, right? How could you possibly prevent being killed by someone else who chooses to drive drunk? Maybe you could just never leave your home. But, there are sometimes drunk drivers who actually drive into people’s homes, so even that extreme approach won’t actually prevent this tragedy.

5 Steps to Your Best (and Bravest) Year Yet

Here we are at the beginning of another new year. It’s a time of great possibilities, endless resolutions and expensive gym memberships. And let’s face it, this past year was a tough one. You’re probably thinking about your resolutions and how you’ll make 2017 different and better – no, the best! But, rather than making the same resolutions we have made for the past decade and forgetting them by January 15, let’s make this the year we create real change. If you’re ready to create the brave life you truly want and deserve, here are few simple steps.

1. BELIEVE you can do anything. It’s not just enough to say you want to quit smoking, lose weight, improve your relationship or start a business. You have to actually believe that you can and will, and that you are truly deserving of a healthier, happier life. If you haven’t been able to accomplish these goals in the past, you probably have some negative beliefs that are holding you back.

We all have these negative beliefs lurking. Sometimes they have been passed on to us neglectful or stressed parents or former abusive partners. Sometimes they are created by our own fear and insecurities. However they got there, it’s important to realize that these negative thoughts are not real, and we can choose new, more positive beliefs. Decide today what you truly want and then believe that you can and will achieve it. Believe that you are worthy of it. Believe that you deserve it — because you do.

« Previous Page